The Simple Joys of Tyranny

(Sung to the tune "The Simple Joys of Maidenhood")

By: Hygiliac

Posted 7 February 2000

Oh, Michalines, you Michalines!

It's Imre here, remember me?

Oh, Michalines, you Michalines!

I'm going to punish you, you see.

     

You know how greedy and depraved I am;

You must admit I seldom give a damn.

But Michalines, you Michalines:

I will not tolerate you more;

You've got to stop this thing!

I won't let you replace me with

A monk who would be king!

     

Oh, Michalines, you've run away,

Eluded me and fled.

But I'll find you and I don't intend

To stop until you're all dead!

     

Oh, Michalines, you Michalines!

Why have you gone on treason's path?

You, Alister, and Camber's kin:

Shan't I repay you with my wrath?

Where are the simple joys of tyranny?

Where are all those subjected to my whim?

Where's the friend who gave me his trust?

I killed him with a single thrust.

Oh, why are the tyrant's joys so slim?

    

Shan't I lead the normal life a tyrant leads?

Shall I not know the pleasure malice feeds?

Shall my council not yield to me

And let my sister sleep with me?

Oh, where are the simple joys a tyrant needs?

    

Shall I not sit on old Gwynedd's throne,

Worshiped as an earthly god,

Not be catered to, but overthrown,

Like a little sod?

    

Where are the simple joys of tyranny?

Are those pure, painful pleasures gone for me?

Shall a war not be made for me?

Shall knights not kill these priests for me?

Oh, where are the wicked joys,

Dreadful, malicious joys,

Where are the simple joys of tyranny?

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